Make Valentine’s Day Hot Instead of Hallmark
Valentine’s Day can be a polarizing holiday. For some, it’s a fun excuse to plan a date with their partner or date, while others find it corny or even dread the day designated to love. Valentine’s Day may be a time to celebrate romance, but ideally, we are making time for romance, intention and play with romantic partners and/or with ourselves regularly. One way to spice up the what can feel like a commercialized holiday is to introduce more sensuality to your experience.
“Sensuality is not a sexual invitation, it’s a depth invitation.”
~ Lebo Grand
Sensuality can be incorporated into one’s life whether they have a romantic partner or not, and is an important and intimate component of relationships, whether that relationship is with another person or oneself. Cultivating the five senses – sight, smell, touch, taste, and sound – into the the act of being sexual is one way to bolster intimacy, and increase the amount of heat you feel in the moment. In other words, sensuality is not for the faint of heart! It can excite every cell in your body and engender a five-dimensional experience designed to transcend the routine. Here are some easy ways to use sensuality to improve your sexuality:
Dress Up: Dressing up doesn’t necessarily mean you have to run to your nearest lingerie store and spend a small fortune on commercially sexy attire. If one wants to explore the sense of sight, it is important that they feel comfortable. That may mean seducing your partner in the dress they feel sexy in or a favorite bra. If one is expressing their sexuality
with themselves, it can still be arousing to wear something that makes one feel sexy.
Sexify The Bedroom: Another way to engage the sense of sight is to transform the bedroom into an erotic zone. We can sometimes be guilty of letting our bedrooms become our offices, kitchens, and often let the intimate space get lost in the clutter of everyday life. One can give their bedroom a more intimate vibe by lighting some candles or finding sensual lighting. It may also be arousing to place sex toys in plain sight to start exciting the eyes to sexuality.
Sensual Scents: Play with the sense of smell by incorporating sensual aromas around the house, in the bedroom, or in the bath. Setting the mood with sensual smells can be done with candles or essential oils. Some scents that are great for enhancing romance include lavender, which is great for stress relief, vanilla, which can make people feel calm and overall happier, and jasmine, a scent that can boost confidence and create emotional warmth. (provide a citation here as this is not within our scope of practice)
Massage: One way to get sensuality and romance flowing is to offer your partner a massage. A massage can be a simple way to connect with your partner’s body can eventually start a transition into some sexy foreplay. One can even go the extra mile and introduce some massage oils which will combine the senses of smell and touch.
Introduce New Tactile Experiences: Another way to incorporate touch into sexuality is to bring new fabrics and textures to the bedroom. These textures could include silk, feathers, velvet, sharp edges or soft, and more. For an added touch, one can blindfold their partner which can lead to heightened senses and arousal.
Food in the Bedroom: Certain foods can have the ability to create an arousing experience for a couple. One of the most popular sensual foods is chocolate, which is an aphrodisiac and has a euphoria inducing chemical, phenylethylamine, that can release feelings of attraction. Partners can try sharing nibbles of various kinds of chocolate together or even add a blindfold and feed their partner other succulent treats which can heighten their sense of taste.
Share Your Fantasies: An arousing exercise partners can practice with each other is sharing their fantasies and sexual desires. Couples can take turns sharing how they’d enjoy pleasuring each other. Sharing fantasies and desires can be a really intimate experience and has the potential to bring couples closer and create a highly erotic and arousing sexual experience. A little dirty talk goes a long way too. Find out what kind of language is hot for them and introduce it when they least expect it. Also, notice shifts in your voice and the impact it has on your partner. Do they tremble when you drop your voice an octave or get excited if you soften or raise it?
Mood Music: Create a sensual and sultry playlist to set the mood for intimate moments. It’s important for one to have this playlist ready to go as searching for the “right” music in the moment could kill the vibe. Music platforms such as Spotify are great for finding already curated playlists specifically for sensual moments. One can also talk with their
partner and discuss what kind of music gets them going and make it a fun exercise to create a playlist together.
Inviting one’s senses to bedroom is a way to amplify sensuality, excitement, connection, and intimacy with one’s partner. However, one doesn’t need a partner to engage their senses in their solo sexual endeavors. When the senses are incorporated in sex, Valentine’s Day can become way more hot than hallmark, if that does it for you.